Tuesday, June 08, 2004

Keeping it real, na mean

Just got back from a trip to see my boyz up in Boston. You know the gang, Corey Haim, John Cusack and two other guys I went to college with. My friends are such jackasses. Good lord! We got drunk on the car ride from Springfield to Boston, then just hit up them Boston bars. One of my crew took a piss on Fenway stadium. We went to a little backyard party the next day with some co-workers of John Cusack, and all his friends just avoided us like the plague. But we probably deserved it with the loud and obnoxious behavior. My work load is starting to pick up a little, which is good, but I will miss spending 8 hours a day just goofing around on the internet. There is a new intern here too, and she looks like she is about 18. I am also getting four new staff soon, three of which are girls, and they had better be hot and skanky. Of course they will have to get over working with a famous movie star and get to know me as a person, but maybe i can use that stardom in order to bang.

Tuesday, June 01, 2004

Welcome to the blog of Jeremy Piven

Hello, my name is Jeremy. I have been in numerous movies and TV shows. Here is a link to my IMDB profile, just in case anyone does not recognize the name:

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0005315/

Everyone probably thinks they know me because I am so famous, but I have a not so famous alter ego that lives and works in the city of brotherly love. This alter ego spends his time working at a large corporation, eating at local restaurants, and trying to make his way in the world.

I got the idea for this blog mess after reading about this skanky Washington DC chick I went to college with. Not that I knew her or anything, but reading about how she has anal sex with political big wigs for money got me thinking that I too could write about anal sex. Never having anal sex might hinder the blog a bit, but I will make it up as I go along. And if that angle doesn't pan out, then I could always stick to writing about the things I know best: doing tax returns, eating, being a baller, getting drunk, the usual mundane events of my life. Maybe I will also throw some stuff in this blog about my very famous friends, like John Cusack. Not many people are aware of this, but John and his sister Joan were actually Siamese twins. They were separated years ago in a very experimental surgery.

Yesterday, I took my girlfriend out to Bertucci's Brick Oven Pizza. I do mystery visits there for free meals. The service was terrible, i felt bad for our waitress because I fill out this survey basically telling her bosses that she does not know how to do her job. What amazes me is that since she obviously knew I was famous, why didn't she wait on my table more attentively? Anyway, Bertucci's sucks and the only reason I have ate there five damn times in the past two years is because it is usually free.